Asking Vs Pondering
—A ponderous prose from Dey
Contemplation is not the same as Meditation. Similarly, one may ponder something by one-self — or seek answers from someone better positioned to resolve your quandary.
I remember one episode of Frasier sitcom where the two siblings–who are both well qualified psychiatrists–except the elder brother is a radio host whereas the younger one has a serious medical practice—-Anywhoo–as always, Frasier Crane is in a quandary and fretting and anxiety-prone–and seeks ultimately the guidance and opinion of his brother–the only man he will trust enough as also to concede to about being in difficulty. Niles Crane says a memorable line which stuck with me (though i always recommend seeking mental health support whenever needed)
Niles says — “As with every man who comes to a psychiatrist, you already have the answer, you just want me to ultimately agree with it.” (paraphrased….not verbatim)
So deep down, all of us are stuck in our ways. No one likes change. Rocking the boat. Getting out of the comfort zone.
Nobel Prize winning physicist & celebrated professor Richard Feynman as well as the renowned astronomer & science spokesperson Carl Sagan believed asking questions were the primary stepping stone to learning ad success.
Why wouldn’t you ask someone for their views, or for their expertise? What if they say no! You would be no more worse than you already are.
Say you don’t know how to create a retirement fund or corpus for yourself. Or you don’t know why certain taxes are applicable to you but not to your colleague, neighbour or that evil twin of yours. Well, ask! Ask the relevant authority or an informed friend or employer’s human resource desk or a billable tax consultant. What’s gonna happen? You think you may lose more in taxes? They are not all out to get you or make you suffer for no reason.
Build faith and goodwill in fellow humans. This will develop a newfound respect and confidence in you for people including strangers. This will come back to you. They will respect you for your position, for your humility, for the fact that you trusted them with the doubt or problem. The goodwill, the respect, the answers, the support system — it will all come to you.
“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd President of the United States
You also need to learn to phrase your words and queries in two specific ways:
- brevity and simplicity
- optimistic and open to improvement
Such obvious things will change your life, career and social standing dramatically over time. Soon you will be guiding others in some of the things you are good at. Say gardening or cooking with spices or solving sudoku or writing a clerihew (a type of verse / poetry). As silly as these things may sound–there are people out there wanting to say and do what you find easy and unproductive.
For example: A housewife has as much if not more skills than an average office-desk executive. The office executive focusses on one role. The housewife manages to do a lot more varied tasks in the same amount of time, including outdoors and indoors, alone and in groups, with young and old.
So, never say or think of yourself as incapable or unskilled or lost. Ask and ye shall receive. If not immediately, you may rethink who or how you are asking for answers or assistance. While its very common today for a generation of people to Google or ask chatbots for answers — ultimately, a human perspective is a learning tool as ancient as caveman herding together for better survival chances.
Be social. Internet and AI may resolve your academic and career obstacles–but your success is through people, and even an AI engine needs the human experience to improve itself, because self-serving men and bots ultimately become redundant and maybe even a liability for civilisation.
Go out, seek the solution, pursue the ambition, “become” your purpose. Manifest! Be more. Evolve. Self-actualization is not a theory. It is the zenith of yourself as a person, as a living creature. Aspire for more. Don’t compare or compete with anything but your past self. Measure your own self in your own fashion. Don’t let others define who you are or should be or could be. Go slow or fast but keep moving forward.
Ultimately, living is growing and life is for living!
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